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Friday, December 09, 2016

When the villains are white

I think Castalia House is going to have to create a team of diverse superheroes who pursue various white villains... and fail every time because they are diverse minorities who do the diverse things that minorities do.

This is the new Spiderman Homecoming team. You can just imagine how many ways things would go wrong with a pretty Halfrican girl who is an NBA groupie, a whip-smart Hispanic girl who always has to be right and argues about everything when she's not busy getting beat up by her gangster boyfriend, the gay Indian H1B who doesn't actually know how to use the computer technology in which he is supposedly an expert, and the fat Asian who keeps losing track of time in the middle of his Hearthstone matches and regularly collapses after 36-hour gaming binges.

And then, of course, there is the half-Jewish Spiderman, who agonizes over every decision, wondering whether it is good for Israel or not, is insecure about his sexual orientation, and is in love with both the Hispanic and the Halfrican to no avail.

Meanwhile, the white villains are running rings around them as they work towards enriching themselves, the Ascendance of their God-Emperor and the total destruction of the United Nations. I would read THAT comic book.

Labels:

168 Comments:

Blogger dc.sunsets December 09, 2016 9:08 AM  

The watermark on that photo constitutes a clear case of false advertising.

Blogger veinarmor December 09, 2016 9:10 AM  

Yes, goy! All manlets want a bootlip with a fitty-thou nose job and a grand-a-day chemistry habit to keep its hair from going native Brillo.

Blogger Alexandros December 09, 2016 9:11 AM  

Mother of God, please make this and take my money.

Blogger #7139 December 09, 2016 9:12 AM  

Meanwhile, the white villains are running rings around them as they work towards enriching themselves, the Ascendance of their God-Emperor and the total destruction of the United Nations. I would read THAT comic book.

It would be the graphic novel of the year and an Hugo award nominee.

Blogger Deplorable Gaiseric December 09, 2016 9:14 AM  

Heh. Although Tom Holland isn't Jewish at all; he's British/Irish/Manx. Of course, the Irish can play a role similar to the Jews, albeit less competent and less neurotic in that story, if needed.

Blogger dc.sunsets December 09, 2016 9:15 AM  

Same question occurs to me on this as with FOX's insistence on tons of prime-time BET-style programming:

Who exactly is the target market, and are you F-ing kidding me that they have money to spend?

Anonymous RCFlyer December 09, 2016 9:16 AM  

Vox and 7139, if you'd like a good Trump comic then here you go. (courtesy of The_Donald on Reddit). I started supporting the artist on Patreon.

http://imgur.com/gallery/zXlmi

Blogger Happy Housewife December 09, 2016 9:18 AM  

As a redhead, I'm horribly offended that they've chosen to replace the historically redheaded MJ with a non-redhead. Better go out and smash up some stores to demonstrate my "civil protest".

Blogger Student in Blue December 09, 2016 9:23 AM  

As a redhead, I'm horribly offended that they've chosen to replace the historically redheaded MJ with a non-redhead. Better go out and smash up some stores to demonstrate my "civil protest".

Redheads can never be happy, apparently.

Blogger Cecil Henry December 09, 2016 9:24 AM  

This picture this yells the 'me too-ism' envy of the left non-White world against Whites.


"Nothing is more comforting to the resentful than the thought that those who possess what they envy possess it unjustly"


Now this, is a meme for the future:

http://www.counter-currents.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/four-generations.jpg


Diversity means chasing DOWN the last White person. Enough.

Blogger SemiSpook37 December 09, 2016 9:30 AM  

The SJWs over at io9 (I lurk solely for teh lulz) are all pissed that the Marvel folks have basically half-assed crossing over the Peter Parker and Miles Morales iterations of Spider Man. I'm guessing the expectation is that they really should have gone with Morales, even in Civil War, and that Homecoming really should have been the full establishment of that character's storyline.

Of course, the huge irony here is that there will likely be way too much involvement from one Tony Stark, making this film Iron Man 3.75 much like Civil War was Iron Man 3.5: Daddy Issues. And this is coming from someone who has somewhat enjoyed Downey's portrayal of Stark.

Blogger MATT December 09, 2016 9:45 AM  

Well, at least it's an accurate portrayal of a Queens, NY high school..

...unfortunately.

OpenID malcolmthecynic December 09, 2016 9:49 AM  

Your read was similar to mine, though this completely fits the Marvel pattern of the white male hero who matches the comic book and the diverse background players.

So I remain hopeful. It's just Marvel doing what they do every movie: Trying to play both sides of the aisle.

Of course, this goes a step further, so it can skew very SJW. We shall see.

The hispanic girl in the trailer who calls them losers strikes me as about right though, although she should be surrounded by a group of mean girls to complete the effect.

Blogger Gordon December 09, 2016 9:51 AM  

Geez. I'm not sure I understand this. But I'm glad that I never got too far into the whole comics world. This is awful on so many levels.

Blogger kmbr December 09, 2016 9:51 AM  

**Who exactly is the target market, and are you F-ing kidding me that they have money to spend?**

They might. I think they are taking all the jobs and getting "educated" (to the nth degree, I might add) for free while whitey's kids are mainlining heroin.

I do some work for a professional firm. (finance related). The entire place is POC. The head lady is Indian, the head of IT is black, one of the managers is Asian. One guy (totally based, BTW--we talk about The Donald on reddit, etc) is from Bulgaria. Another Indian guy (a "doctor"), another black guy with a white wife. A couple of white women who are lower level.

There are a handful of older what they call principals (50 years old+) and they are all on their way out the door.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab December 09, 2016 9:53 AM  

I was tired of Gwen Stacy anyway. Where's MJ, who's the fat Hawaiian kid, who are the Dominican and black chicks?

I'm so confused.

Blogger B.J. December 09, 2016 9:57 AM  

Wow. Next wave of Marvel movies is going to go down in flames. Fun while it all lasted.

Anonymous passerby December 09, 2016 9:57 AM  

This is the best literary idea I've heard in a long time. Vox needs to write this and go full bore with the idea. I'd pay good money to read it.

Anonymous BigGayKoranBurner December 09, 2016 9:57 AM  

What about a gay man with the power to burn Korans & leave desert didndus hanging from lampposts by feather boas?

team of diverse superheroes who pursue various white villains... and fail every time because they are diverse minorities who do the diverse things that minorities do

You can look at the UK's Freedom Assault Group for inspiration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYvPfkz3ks0

Meanwhile, the white villains are running rings around them as they work towards enriching themselves, the Ascendance of their God-Emperor and the total destruction of the United Nations

Oh no the Druggar's had another kid but still don't need government handouts, they are making us look bad. They have a plan to plant more fruit/nut trees, we will outsmart them. Cuntswella use your power to make Mexicans Drink/drive, rape kids and not wash their hands(spread ecoli) in their area, darn it they planted the trees themselves. Lootie use your power to make liquor & weave stores be robbed happen the next time they go into a liquor store. Where is half-Jewish Spider-Man? He is still trapped in the bath house zone. Has anyone figured out a use for the Mudshark's power of spontaneously getting black eyes?

OpenID malcolmthecynic December 09, 2016 9:59 AM  

@6

You're completely not getting what Marvel is doing here. This is brilliant. The target market is everyone. White male hero who pretty much exactly matches his comic book counterpart, villain who is a better version of his comic book version, Tony Stark/Iron Man, and then you have mixed race background players. SJW's and normal people are all happy.

This is exactly what Marvel does in every movie. The only difference with this one is that they may have miscalculated slightly and gone too minority-heavy with the background players, though Spider-Man himself is popular enough that I doubt it.

But believe me, this is all heavily calculated to minimize critics and maximize viewers. Marvel Studios is one of the few business first companies left in the industry, which is what makes them so consistently good.

Blogger Chris Lutz December 09, 2016 10:01 AM  

dc.sunsets, in the 90's Fox had tons of black programming.

Blogger swiftfoxmark2 December 09, 2016 10:03 AM  

I've noticed a trend lately within most live-action superhero movies and television shows: a rejection of gingers.

Iris West, Wally West, and Jimmy Olsen on the CW's Arrowverse.

And now Mary Jane Watson in the Marvel filmverse.

Anonymous BGKB December 09, 2016 10:03 AM  

What about a gay man with the power to burn Korans & leave desert didndus hanging from lampposts by feather boas?

team of diverse superheroes who pursue various white villains... and fail every time because they are diverse minorities who do the diverse things that minorities do

You can look at the UK's Freedom Assault Group for inspiration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JYvPfkz3ks0

Meanwhile, the white villains are running rings around them as they work towards enriching themselves, the Ascendance of their God-Emperor and the total destruction of the United Nations

Oh no the Druggar's had another kid but still don't need government handouts, they are making us look bad. They have a plan to plant more fruit/nut trees, we will outsmart them. Cuntswella use your power to make Mexicans Drink/drive, rape kids and not wash their hands(spread ecoli) in their area, darn it they planted the trees themselves. Lootie use your power to make liquor & weave stores be robbed happen the next time they go into a liquor store. Where is half-Jewish Spider-Man? He is still trapped in the bath house zone. Has anyone figured out a use for the Mudshark's power of spontaneously getting 2 black eyes?

Blogger VD December 09, 2016 10:06 AM  

What about a gay man with the power to burn Korans & leave desert didndus hanging from lampposts by feather boas?

Oh, you mean Fashy G?

Anonymous Elijah Rhodes December 09, 2016 10:06 AM  

"Spiderman" is sexist. At very least it should be Spiderperson. Or even more inclusive, one of the non-binary gender pronouns: SpiderXir. Of course it's cultural appropriation to dress like a spider. Let's try InsectXir...

Anonymous B Day December 09, 2016 10:07 AM  

Hell yeah! Dude this would be so fuckin' funny...especially if some of the villains had no idea they're even on the heroes' radar.

Anonymous Fisher December 09, 2016 10:07 AM  

Meh. I'm not getting froggy for anything less than the 8th sign of the apocalypse, so ping me when Idris Elba is made the new James Bond.

Blogger Cassandros the Elder December 09, 2016 10:09 AM  

These godlike superheros must have a name, how about the Pink Pantheon

Blogger James Dixon December 09, 2016 10:09 AM  

It's reached the point in the Marvel universe where I'm actually be rooting for Dr. Doom to take over the world.

Blogger Dexter December 09, 2016 10:09 AM  

Needs a fat Jewess to play a ditsy blonde.

Anonymous Dan December 09, 2016 10:10 AM  

The fat asian will sue Doc Octopus for cultural appropriation.

Blogger Joe A. December 09, 2016 10:11 AM  

Well... for the most part, that's probably what they've unwittingly written.

To think that I was looking forward to this movie before this trailer was released.

Ham, meet fist.

Anonymous Dan December 09, 2016 10:12 AM  

The fat asian kid will sue Doc Octopus for cultural appropriation

Blogger Cluebat Vanexodar December 09, 2016 10:15 AM  

OT:
Very good article about Evil and Pizzagate at ZeroHedge.
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-12-08/

Blogger Chris Mallory December 09, 2016 10:22 AM  

World class villains always have to be white. Street level threats can be black.

Hans Gruber doesn't work as Tyrone Washington. When James Bond crossed swords with black bad guys, they weren't trying to destroy the world, steal nukes or even corner the world's gold supply (((Goldfinger))). They were trying to control the drug trade in Harlem.

Michael Clarke Duncan did work as Kingpin in the Daredevil movie. He fit the body type and Kingpin is basically still a street level crook.

Blogger James Dixon December 09, 2016 10:23 AM  

> Very good article about Evil and Pizzagate at ZeroHedge.

That link seems to be broken, try http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-12-08/understanding-evil-globalism-pizzagate

OpenID basementhomebrewer December 09, 2016 10:25 AM  

Dan wrote:The fat asian kid will sue Doc Octopus for cultural appropriation

Isn't their whole show cultural appropriation. They have replaced all of the traditionally white roles with non-white people. Hamilton did the same thing except with a real story. Isn't all this by definition cultural appropriation?

Anonymous Michael Maier December 09, 2016 10:29 AM  

The FAG is Flash Thompson? WTFF?

Blogger Daniel December 09, 2016 10:30 AM  

I have been waiting the vulture for long. Fights could be just awesome. Hope they don't screw this. Spiderman was always an heterosexual with many girlfriends along time and that should not change

Anonymous Damn Crackers December 09, 2016 10:30 AM  

Black Shocker? Guatemalan Flash Thompson? No Mary Jane Watson? Tyne Daly as Tyne Daly?

This reboot will make Rouge One look like The Birth of a Nation.

Anonymous AzDesertRat December 09, 2016 10:31 AM  

BGKB wrote:Has anyone figured out a use for the Mudshark's power of spontaneously getting 2 black eyes?

LMAO. Now I have to stop by the pop machine for a new Coke... and IT for a new keyboard.

Blogger Happy Housewife December 09, 2016 10:32 AM  

"Isn't all this by definition cultural appropriation?"

Not if it's done to white people apparently. And they wonder why white nationalism is becoming a thing.

Blogger Cassandros the Elder December 09, 2016 10:32 AM  

The Pink Pantheon, armed with inate ability and badass narratude!

Blogger Cataline Sergius December 09, 2016 10:41 AM  

I'd noticed this a while back when I was informed by a certain excited adolescent that the girl from Shake It Up was going to be the new Mary Jane.

I smiled and nodded under the impression that Disney had decided to up Bella Thorne. Wrong call. I had mentally neglected the fact that there was another girl on Shake It Up.

Hollywood's frantic obsession with cross racial romance has now crossed into the farcical.   They are already yelling that racist white basement dwellers are completely losing their shit over this brave choice.

Good lord Spiderman Homecoming is still filming.  How fucking bad are the dailies that they feel they already need to be laying the ground work for a feminist Ghostbusters marketing campaign?

See the third new Spiderman since 2007 or you are racist!

Blogger Joe A. December 09, 2016 10:44 AM  

What semblance of beauty the halfrican possesses I suspect can be safely contributed to her better half.

Anonymous Dan December 09, 2016 10:45 AM  

The secret villain is Trump, whose in bed with the (Green)Goblin.

Blogger Cluebat Vanexodar December 09, 2016 10:46 AM  

@32
Thanks. My network administration plays hell on the clipboard I think.

Anonymous Dan December 09, 2016 10:49 AM  

The main villain is Trump whose secretly in bed with the (Green)Goblin.

Anonymous VFM #6306 December 09, 2016 10:49 AM  

Finally, they are going to to
Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-ham a bit of justice.

Anonymous Dan December 09, 2016 10:52 AM  

The main villain is Donald Trump who is secretly in bed with the (Green) Goblin

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 10:52 AM  

The Indian's failures, in particular, should be because he's using software created by one of the white villains.

Anonymous Nathan December 09, 2016 10:56 AM  

Hearthstone? Because he can't hack it in Starcraft?

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 10:57 AM  

I can see it now...the Jewish guy feeds agitprop to the halfrican in the hopes of scoring, but in her mind she's pretty sure he's white and only works with him for his money. Compounding his agitation, she keeps repeating his theories incorrectly, interchanging the polysyllabic words at random.

Blogger synp December 09, 2016 10:59 AM  

To be fair, a Peter Parker who agonizes over every decision is more true to decades of comic books than any of the 21st century movies.

Anonymous BluePony December 09, 2016 11:00 AM  

Reminds me of Mark Millar's "Wanted", an extremely dark graphic novel about a universe where the supervillains finally won. The world was somehow made to forget heroes ever even existed. Superman is a cripple. Batman thinks he was just an actor on an TV action show. The rest are dead or in locked in asylums. The villains can now walk the work and steal, rape and murder with impunity, completely untouchable.

Blogger DemonicProfessorEl December 09, 2016 11:01 AM  

Also, the villains have to do is wait for certain illnesses to get hold of them - sickle-cell anemia, gastric disorders, mental breakdown, type-2 diabetes, obesity.

Realistically, a villain could send this plucky group some video games, donuts and candies, and a couple credit cards, then just wait it out.

Anonymous BluePony December 09, 2016 11:02 AM  

"The main villain is Donald Trump who is secretly in bed with the (Green) Goblin"

What? a gay villain? RACISTSEXISTHOMOPHOBE!!!

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 11:02 AM  

and the fat Asian who keeps losing track of time in the middle of his Hearthstone matches and regularly collapses after 36-hour gaming binges.

Because one time, long ago, the Latina said she was a gamer and claims to be attracted to intelligence.

Blogger cheddarman December 09, 2016 11:03 AM  

How about a series where the world of international business and finance is run by a secret tribe who must not be named?

Blogger James Dixon December 09, 2016 11:04 AM  

> To be fair, a Peter Parker who agonizes over every decision is more true to decades of comic books than any of the 21st century movies.

Ain't that the truth. Parker is one of he most angsty characters ever.

Anonymous Dan December 09, 2016 11:05 AM  

53. cheddarman
Sinister Six?

Blogger Eric Mueller December 09, 2016 11:07 AM  

Don't forget to add a token white, but the only way to pull it off is he has to be disabled. His super-power is Gamma Delusion, and he uses a wheelchair. Better yet, make him obese (Comic Book Guy?) and he rides a Rascal scooter.

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 11:07 AM  

All of the supervillains should be tall and blond. Possible names: Chad, Biff, Kevin, Wolfgang, Ashley, Katie, Chelsea.

Anonymous BGKB December 09, 2016 11:09 AM  

The Pink Pantheon, armed with inate ability and badass narratude!

Even Ayn Rand wouldn't name a villain Rob Mook, the chartreuse surfer, mouthpiece of the Devourer of Worlds' reserve currency & Haitian cheese).

Also, the villains have to do is wait for certain illnesses to get hold of them

We need the Squatmonster's duplicating power to commit voter fraud, I mean democracy, in Philly & Chicago. What someone left out a bucket of KFC laced with birth control?

Anonymous Brick Hardslab December 09, 2016 11:10 AM  

Haven Monahan. Best super villain ever.

Anonymous VFM#1819 December 09, 2016 11:10 AM  

It nearly writes itself. Willing to pre-order.

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 11:14 AM  

Man, this is fun. So...at night everyone has their alter ego, but they all know each other and during the day they go to the same high school together.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab December 09, 2016 11:14 AM  

What is wrong with them? Mary Jane isn't a freckled red head? More importantly Spidey is a loner. What does he need fat Hawaiian boy for?

Anonymous Chad December 09, 2016 11:17 AM  

@56

"My Fellow White" Man.

Blogger RmaxGenactivePUA Mgtow December 09, 2016 11:19 AM  

Make it a graphic novel, or even better take on the jew filth comic book industry

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 11:19 AM  

Eric Mueller wrote:Don't forget to add a token white, but the only way to pull it off is he has to be disabled. His super-power is Gamma Delusion, and he uses a wheelchair. Better yet, make him obese (Comic Book Guy?) and he rides a Rascal scooter.

He could be a ginger :-P. His origin story could be that he's convinced someone took his soul. Then his character arc could be that he learns you can't steal souls, he just never had one, then he becomes the unaligned rogue 8chan-man.

Anonymous Pax_Romana December 09, 2016 11:19 AM  

@23 You're not imagining things. This year has been especially bad for gingers; I can't even get work as an extra these days. (so I get the chance to make my own stuff that I link on Gab)

I don't know why; perhaps it's we're the whitest of the white men; maybe it's because we just look like comic book villains; maybe it's the lack of souls, though you'd think that wouldn't bother Hollywood...

Anonymous #5454 December 09, 2016 11:19 AM  

Very sorry to OT on Pizzagate, but this video may prove to be most unhelpful to the phony gunman narrative

Video Here about the shooter's queer brother?

Anonymous Pax_Romana December 09, 2016 11:20 AM  

Crap; not @23; @21. My bad.

Anonymous Lit Dog December 09, 2016 11:33 AM  

Chuck Tingle may have to surrender his place in satire when this movie comes out. And if someone hacks out a novelization of the screenplay, it’s sure to warrant a Hugo.

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 11:33 AM  

Pax_Romana wrote:@23 I don't know why; perhaps it's we're the whitest of the white men; maybe it's because we just look like comic book villains;

I think it's because we're extremely white but we also don't look like comic book villains because we're perceived as weak. I've been called a "twerp" by people who were much smaller, weaker, and less athletic, and honestly I think it's just the hair and pigmentation (i.e. change those and the behavior would cease). So if white men absolutely have to be villains, there's NO PLACE in casting for gingers.

Anonymous Wyrd December 09, 2016 11:40 AM  

With great diversity comes great strength.

Anonymous Pax_Romana December 09, 2016 11:41 AM  

Good point, Aeoli. I had to grow a massively large beard to stave off the "twerp" stigma.

Anonymous Edjamacator December 09, 2016 11:42 AM  

Brick Hardslab wrote:What is wrong with them? Mary Jane isn't a freckled red head? More importantly Spidey is a loner. What does he need fat Hawaiian boy for?

Because, apparently, all heroes (at least on TV) need to have teams behind them. As much as I like Flash, and know about Arrow and such, they didn't have teams in the comics like they do on TV. It's almost like "the white hero can't do it by himself. He needs some minorities helping him out." I wouldn't be surprised if they had an actual Superman (not Super-girl) TV show later and tried squeezing a team to help him as well. Because, you know, Superman doesn't have enough power on his own....

Blogger horsewithnonick December 09, 2016 11:44 AM  

It's just that they have to completely rework all the contracts...

Blogger DemonicProfessorEl December 09, 2016 11:57 AM  

How about this: the Diverse Hero Team doesn't really ever stop true crimes (like the ones committed in ghettoes/cities)...but go after crimes of appropriation.

They go and beat up a white dude who runs a taco truck, harass and beat white yoga teachers, gang up on a white dude with dreadlocks (oh wait, that happened IRL...)

Blogger DemonicProfessorEl December 09, 2016 11:58 AM  

PS - Chuck Norris, a white expert at martial arts and sweetass commie killer, is a main baddy. Except, we know who'd win.

Anonymous VFM #4001 December 09, 2016 12:08 PM  

James Dixon wrote:It's reached the point in the Marvel universe where I'm actually be rooting for Dr. Doom to take over the world.
If you read with a jaundiced enough eye, Dr. Victor von Doom has ALWAYS been the good guy.

Like Lex Luthor.

Blogger lowercaseb December 09, 2016 12:12 PM  

I would read THAT comic book.

Your wish is my action item. Final draft is being FURIOUSLY opened...

OpenID ar10308 December 09, 2016 12:16 PM  

The obvious answer is to make all the White Villains the historical heroes of Christendom. They could have a Crusader (with the awesome catch phrase "DEUS VULT!"), an Inquisitor, a Soldier from Rorke's Drift, Charles Martel, Vlad Impaler, Jan Sobieski, etc. Obviously, they'd be the bad guys since they wanted to live free of Tolerance and Brown-Diversity and the "good" guys would be a rainbow coalition as above, led by a self-righteous (((Tribesman))).

Anonymous Snidely Whiplash December 09, 2016 12:17 PM  

Brick Hardslab wrote:More importantly Spidey is a loner. What does he need fat Hawaiian boy for?For those long cold lonely New York nights of course.

Blogger Whisker biscuit December 09, 2016 12:37 PM  

I heard the new Transformers movie will have a gay transgendered Autobot named Buttimus Pluggimus.

Blogger Joshua_D December 09, 2016 12:37 PM  

"who agonizes over every decision, wondering whether it is good for Israel or not,"

This is where I LOL'd.

Blogger James Dixon December 09, 2016 12:49 PM  

> If you read with a jaundiced enough eye, Dr. Victor von Doom has ALWAYS been the good guy.

While Doom's portrayals have varied widely over the years, in general it doesn't even take a jaundiced eye to see him in that light. Remember that the experiment which originally turned Victor Von Doom into Dr. Doom was an attempt to contact the afterlife and free his mother from hell (a task at which he later succeeded).

Anonymous FP December 09, 2016 12:57 PM  

Did they at least change the name of MJ to Sasha Fierce?

Blogger Desiderius December 09, 2016 1:01 PM  

"Meanwhile, the white villains are running rings around them as they work towards enriching themselves, the Ascendance of their God-Emperor and the total destruction of the United Nations. I would read THAT comic book."

So it's black hats, then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCqpPj87ekE

Anonymous BGKB December 09, 2016 1:07 PM  

Very sorry to OT on Pizzagate, but this video may prove to be most unhelpful to the phony gunman narrative

I was afraid I was going to see one of my exes when they started showing his friends from Austin

I had to grow a massively large beard to stave off the "twerp" stigma.

You should be stocking up for the nigapocalypse to avoid Those With Empty Reserve Pantries

OpenID basementhomebrewer December 09, 2016 1:18 PM  

Whisker biscuit wrote:I heard the new Transformers movie will have a gay transgendered Autobot named Buttimus Pluggimus. You are almost right. I heard he is the head of a new faction called the Autobutts.

OpenID obsoleteman December 09, 2016 1:20 PM  

Perhaps it could be like the Harlem Globetrotters versus the Washington generals, except the generals win every time.

Blogger VoodooJock December 09, 2016 1:36 PM  

You could make the graphic novel hero kind of like Scalzi, and leave it half-finished and behind the deadline.

Anonymous BGKB December 09, 2016 1:51 PM  

"who agonizes over every decision, wondering whether it is good for Israel or not,"

Jewish Lightning's arch enemy is the firefighter who puts fires out too fast. That's why there is a big push for low enough standards for firefighters so that non Asian minorities can be hired.

OpenID b1bae96e-6447-11e3-b6bb-000f20980440 December 09, 2016 2:03 PM  

Did they at least change the name of MJ to Sasha Fierce?

The black girl plays Liz Allen. I don't know about the Hispanic girl, but I don't think she is MJ either. This might take place before they introduce MJ. She wasn't added until about 5 years into the comic and he had already squared off against the Vulture a few times by then. In the teaser the Asian is Peter's best friend, but he isn't Harry. But Peter is pining for Liz.

Blogger lowercaseb December 09, 2016 2:18 PM  

their mentor is a half-jewish/half-asian media boss who has the ability to alter the narrative at a moment's notice, transforming their defeats into stunning vibrant victories.

Enter into the Hall of Diversity, the dapperly dressed RHETT KHAN.

Blogger CG December 09, 2016 2:23 PM  

A failing coalition of diverse humans battling evil is basically the plot of the third Matrix movie

Blogger lowercaseb December 09, 2016 2:24 PM  

...and I have to say, I am enjoying the transformation of the quiet and scrawny white kid with poor social skills who was exposed to an overdose of 'gamma' radiation.

Blogger Werekoala December 09, 2016 2:25 PM  

It just hit me - Nivens' Puppeters are Jewish....

Blogger Deplorable Gaiseric December 09, 2016 2:33 PM  

b1bae96e-6447-11e3-b6bb-000f20980440 wrote:Did they at least change the name of MJ to Sasha Fierce?

The black girl plays Liz Allen. I don't know about the Hispanic girl, but I don't think she is MJ either. This might take place before they introduce MJ. She wasn't added until about 5 years into the comic and he had already squared off against the Vulture a few times by then. In the teaser the Asian is Peter's best friend, but he isn't Harry. But Peter is pining for Liz.

Who was a Nordic white blonde girl originally, of course.

OpenID malcolmthecynic December 09, 2016 2:45 PM  

@93

I don't think so. I'm not sure, but I THINK she was introduced in one of the animated series as a hispanic.

OpenID basementhomebrewer December 09, 2016 2:46 PM  

lowercaseb wrote:their mentor is a half-jewish/half-asian media boss who has the ability to alter the narrative at a moment's notice, transforming their defeats into stunning vibrant victories.

Enter into the Hall of Diversity, the dapperly dressed RHETT KHAN.


This is the coup de grace. This comic must be produced.

Anonymous BGKB December 09, 2016 2:48 PM  

half-jewish/half-asian media boss who has the ability to alter the narrative at a moment's notice, transforming their defeats into stunning vibrant victories. Enter into the Hall of Diversity, the dapperly dressed RHETT KHAN.

Rhett Con doesn't look 1/2 Asian & hasn't worn a dress in years.
http://i.imgur.com/wvxc9jT.jpg

Anonymous One Deplorable DT December 09, 2016 2:48 PM  

And then, of course, there is the half-Jewish Spiderman, who agonizes over every decision, wondering whether it is good for Israel or not, is insecure about his sexual orientation, and is in love with both the Hispanic and the Halfrican to no avail.

Wait...Ben Shapiro is the new Spiderman? Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?!

...the gay Indian H1B who doesn't actually know how to use the computer technology in which he is supposedly an expert...

This is a call from Windows. We have found many viruses on your PC. You must listen very carefully to me, OK? Your PC viruses are causing us problems here at Windows. I need you to go to this website I am telling you, and I need a credit card number.

Just imagine the issue where the Spiderman team tries to get Hillary elected and is defeated by the evil white villains in red MAGA hats. After which Trump tells every one of Spidey's friends that they have to go back.

Blogger Mighty Lou December 09, 2016 2:48 PM  

Spider...thing is a transteen fro real.

https://youtu.be/e9Lm886PPPA

Blogger James Dixon December 09, 2016 2:51 PM  

> This is a call from Windows. We have found many viruses on your PC. You must listen very carefully to me, OK? Your PC viruses are causing us problems here at Windows. I need you to go to this website I am telling you, and I need a credit card number.

We've actually gotten those calls. They usually hand up when I explain that I'm running Linux.

Blogger Feather Blade December 09, 2016 2:54 PM  

@89 XD +1

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 2:56 PM  

lowercaseb wrote:their mentor is a half-jewish/half-asian media boss who has the ability to alter the narrative at a moment's notice, transforming their defeats into stunning vibrant victories.

Enter into the Hall of Diversity, the dapperly dressed RHETT KHAN.


Winner. *bows*

Anonymous BluePony December 09, 2016 2:56 PM  

"It just hit me - Nivens' Puppeters are Jewish...."

You're going to have to walk me though that one.

I might nominate the Pak Protectors for that role.

Geez, is anyone writing cool SF like that anymore?

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 09, 2016 3:02 PM  

James Dixon wrote:> This is a call from Windows. We have found many viruses on your PC. You must listen very carefully to me, OK? Your PC viruses are causing us problems here at Windows. I need you to go to this website I am telling you, and I need a credit card number.

We've actually gotten those calls. They usually hand up when I explain that I'm running Linux.

'
My son-in law like to play with them. He sits down to his linux box and pretends to play along.
"Go to thisw website: www.INowOwnYourPuter.com"
"How do I do that?"
"Use your browser"
How do I use a browser?"
"Okay okay okay, click on the Windows logo."
"What does that look like?
"It looks like 4 colored squares"
"I don't have one of those"

etc etc until the future permanent temporary H1B candidate is screaming in frustration.

Then he plays the recording for me while we drink beer.

Good times.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 09, 2016 3:03 PM  

Rhett Khan, making the Iron Age diverse again.

Blogger Feather Blade December 09, 2016 3:05 PM  

Deplorable Gaiseric wrote:Who was a Nordic white blonde girl originally, of course.

See what you don't understand is that this is perfectly justifiable because white feminism is apparently now white supremacy , so erasing the white girl is justice for historic oppression of black feminists by white feminists.

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 3:13 PM  

Mixing two ideas:

Desiderius wrote:"Meanwhile, the white villains are running rings around them as they work towards enriching themselves, the Ascendance of their God-Emperor and the total destruction of the United Nations. I would read THAT comic book."

So it's black hats, then.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCqpPj87ekE


One Deplorable DT wrote:Just imagine the issue where the Spiderman team tries to get Hillary elected and is defeated by the evil white villains in red MAGA hats. After which Trump tells every one of Spidey's friends that they have to go back.

So, maybe they could be "the red hats". I don't want to be sneaky about this: I'm suggesting it because TDS suggested meming "red-hat Americans" to replace "blue-collar", and doing this for them (it would be a natural consequence of such a comic) would extend a hefty olive branch that actually appeals to their interests*. I believe the alliance would be mutually beneficial at least until the wall is built.

*Their concern, rightly IMO, is that the alt-west is appropriating their culture. It is, but that's because in Gervais terms you have alt-white=losers, alt-west=sociopaths, and alt-lite=clueless. In subculture dynamics terms, alt-white=geeks, alt-west=sociopaths, and alt-lite=MOPs.

Blogger JDC December 09, 2016 3:15 PM  

Wait...Ben Shapiro is the new Spiderman? Why doesn't anyone tell me these things?!

I will have you know that I'm hunting right now. After reading your comment I laughed out loud...causing a nice 4 point (which I would have let pass) to run away. Well done! (See Ilk...you can be encouraging from time to time. You don't always need to be jambronis).

Blogger lowercaseb December 09, 2016 3:20 PM  

Aeoli Pera wrote:lowercaseb wrote:their mentor is a half-jewish/half-asian media boss who has the ability to alter the narrative at a moment's notice, transforming their defeats into stunning vibrant victories.

Enter into the Hall of Diversity, the dapperly dressed RHETT KHAN.


Winner. *bows*


Dude...yer killing my Omega status. Now I'm going have to be EXTRA creepy to the female interns.

Anonymous WaterBoy December 09, 2016 3:22 PM  

Vox: "Meanwhile, the white villains are running rings around them as they work towards enriching themselves, the Ascendance of their God-Emperor and the total destruction of the United Nations."

Would be interesting to see how J. Jonah Jameson would fare in this version, then. Probably becomes as successful as Trump...maybe even gets a position in his cabinet?

Anonymous Ronnie speaks December 09, 2016 3:39 PM  

The only suggestion I have is to add an alcohol Native American in the mix.

Blogger Eli December 09, 2016 3:39 PM  

Castalia House Productions can't come soon enough.

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 3:44 PM  

lowercaseb wrote:Aeoli Pera wrote:lowercaseb wrote:their mentor is a half-jewish/half-asian media boss who has the ability to alter the narrative at a moment's notice, transforming their defeats into stunning vibrant victories.

Enter into the Hall of Diversity, the dapperly dressed RHETT KHAN.


Winner. *bows*


Dude...yer killing my Omega status. Now I'm going have to be EXTRA creepy to the female interns.


Is "the Platonic NEET" redundant?

Blogger Aeoli Pera December 09, 2016 3:47 PM  

Come at me bro, I have a black belt in wai-fu.

Blogger SteelPalm December 09, 2016 3:53 PM  

Holy shit. I didn't even understand what Vox was originally referring to until I did a Google Image Search and found that yep, this is indeed the new vibrant cast of an upcoming Spiderman film.

Godfrey Elfwick's dream of Oprah Winfrey playing Spiderman doesn't seem so far-fetched anymore.

As for the satire, considering most American Jews couldn't give a damn less about Israel, having never visited or having any intentions to do so, and supporting Fakestinians to boot, I doubt the half-Jew will, either.

The rest is on point, though.

Anonymous John Scalzi Unfinished Asimov Project December 09, 2016 3:54 PM  

"Come at me bro, I have a black belt in wai-fu."

Speaking of which: this comic book universe needs a leavening** of sake-she cat burglars:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DdPyYNM_8I

Thank God I'm working to John Scalzi deadlines: now I can announce there will be a "Doom" for Christmas and if there ain't, no money no problems!

**perish the thought: the last thing any Ice Kingdom needs is a leavening of anything else . . .

Anonymous VFM #6306 December 09, 2016 3:54 PM  

Star Wars: Rogue Wonton is going to retrace the steps leading up to Star Wars: A New Hope without the assistance of straight white men.

Therefore...the most that movie's plot is going to accomplish is the delivery of stolen goods to some queen with connections.

Blogger Werekoala December 09, 2016 3:58 PM  

Isolated, secretive business-beings manipulating all other races for their own gain, even going so far as to pit them against each other in war and selectively breeding them for luck while fleeing from galaxy-spanning danger that they wouldn't have bothered telling anyone about if another potential threat wasn't in their way. They even had to get other races to do the dirty work of exploring and evaluating the Ringworld instead of doing it themselves. It's not a perfect fit but the parallels are there.

Blogger SteelPalm December 09, 2016 4:00 PM  

Eh, strike that. As @5 correctly noted, Tom Holland isn't a "half-Jew" at all, but fully white; English, Irish, and Manx ancestry.

Anonymous ashv December 09, 2016 4:06 PM  

Perhaps you're thinking of The Offenders? http://pbfcomics.com/275/

OpenID b1bae96e-6447-11e3-b6bb-000f20980440 December 09, 2016 4:07 PM  

Oh and don't be too hard on the fat Asian best friend who replaces Harry. Disney isn't pandering to SJW's on that one. That is purely to scratch a few more million out of the Chinese market.

Blogger Martin X December 09, 2016 4:09 PM  

That picture perfectly sums up the end goal of diversity: Zero White People.

Anonymous One Deplorable DT December 09, 2016 4:21 PM  

@102 - My son-in law like to play with them. He sits down to his linux box and pretends to play along.

Your son-in-law has far more patience then I do. Before the H1B hopeful finished his introductory paragraph I had googled "India curse words." I'm not sure exactly what I said to him. But I do believe it involved a rumor about his mother and a dog.

At any rate it was effective.

@104 - See what you don't understand is that this is perfectly justifiable because white feminism is apparently now white supremacy...

Good. This meme needs to be pushed. If white women return to the fold then we have the upper hand in future elections. They need to understand that race trumps sex and they can lose their super special privileged minority protection status faster then Milo at a Gays for Social Justice meeting.

@106 - I...I saved a deer. sniff That means I have an environmental sin credit, right? Like I can just dump plastic shopping bags on Jerry Brown's front yard or throw motor oil on Leonardo Dicraprio?

Anonymous Brick Hardslab December 09, 2016 4:22 PM  

The little brown dude just screams, 'gay' so loud it can be heard from orbit. What in the actual hell. Why do I need a ultra-mega-super gay dude on every superhero team now?

Every single CW DC team has at least one gay dude. And not just a gay dude they have to shove it in your face. 'White Canary' commits adultery with a married woman in the first episode of the most recent season. Arrow has the team gayness arguing with his gay 'husband'. Supergirl's adopted sister comes out as gay and literally forty minutes of two episodes are spent on her 'coming out'. These are supposed to be for kids. Plus, I want to suspend my disbelief, what society has thirty to forty percent of its members being gay? Darwin's evil ghost would laugh himself silly.

Blogger GFR December 09, 2016 4:37 PM  

How about a superhero who can switch their appearance at will so that they can be male/female, black/White/Asian/hispanic as the circumstances dictate.
.
Every episode would end with a denouement where the superhero reveals that they are some other race - and the villains feel embarassed for their inherent racism.

Blogger Mr.MantraMan December 09, 2016 5:16 PM  

We can totally own the Super White Super Villain meme, we are all gonna get laid

Anonymous Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus December 09, 2016 5:30 PM  

Go ahead and put "happy white American" into the (image) search engine of your choice. Go ahead. I double dog dare you.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 09, 2016 5:52 PM  

GFR wrote:How about a superhero who can switch their appearance at will so that they can be male/female, black/White/Asian/hispanic as the circumstances dictate.
Captain Genderfluidity and xir sidekick, Transracial Youth

Anonymous That Would Be Telling December 09, 2016 5:54 PM  

@125 Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus

Go ahead and put "happy white American" into the (image) search engine of your choice. Go ahead. I double dog dare you.

I did it for Bing and DuckDuckGo as well as Google. That means the corpus of data these search engines are being trained on, that is, pretty much the Internet itself, is so pozzed that is what comes up.

Pretty sure this is not something that can be directly addressed with Alt Right technology when that day comes....

Anonymous Vermithrax Pejorative December 09, 2016 6:05 PM  

One of the heroes should be an incompetent black lawyer. He works the phrase 'disparate impact' into every conversation, because that's the only law he actually knows. It's a running gag.

Yes, I know that's actually Barrack Obama, but so what?

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 09, 2016 6:07 PM  

And they're all stock photos. A stock photo search for
White Americans should return photos of White Americans. Interestingly, it's the word American that skews the results. If you search for Happy White Family, for instance, you get exactly that.

My guess would be that the shock photo houses tag Blacks with "African American", but don't otherwise tag for nationality of Whites. So any search for "American" will bring up photos of Blacks and Arabs.

What's really interesting is that the search brings up more pix of dogs than White Americans.

All of which means that kowtowing to politically correct speech has made the business less effective at its core function.

Anonymous Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus December 09, 2016 6:09 PM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:If you search for Happy White Family, for instance, you get exactly that.

Ok, now try "white couple".

Anonymous Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus December 09, 2016 6:19 PM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:So any search for "American" will bring up photos of Blacks and Arabs.

What's really interesting is that the search brings up more pix of dogs than White Americans.


I tried "happy American" There's a few white-people photos in there, and a bunch of unhappy pre-American red men. Vox is not alone.

You inspired a search on "muslim dog", which returns some amusing results.

Converged, but not fully converged.

Blogger James Dixon December 09, 2016 6:25 PM  

> My son-in law like to play with them. He sits down to his linux box and pretends to play along.

Oh yeah. I don't play it that bad, but they'll tell me things like start Internet Explorer or go to your C: drive, and I'll say I don't seem to have that. Eventually they ask me what version of Windows I'm running, which is when the cat comes out of the bag.

Blogger James Dixon December 09, 2016 6:45 PM  

> ...or throw motor oil on Leonardo Dicraprio?

Only if you light it afterwards.

> How about a superhero who can switch their appearance at will so that they can be male/female, black/White/Asian/hispanic as the circumstances dictate.

That would be Mystique: https://infogalactic.com/info/Mystique_(comics)

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 09, 2016 6:45 PM  

Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus wrote:Ok, now try "white couple".
28 of the first 36 results are white couples, 6 with non-White babies. The rest are inter-racial couples.
Consider for a moment that if people are treating White as default, they wouldn't mention race at all unless they were talking about an inter-racial couple. Where on the internet are you going to see an article that specifically mentions the race of the people in the photo? An article from an explicitly racist perspective, usually a Black, an SJW or a alt-White website.

This isn't rocket science.

Anonymous Brick Hardslab December 09, 2016 7:03 PM  

If Marisa Tomei was my aunt I'd probably have a psych problem. She's still pretty hot.

Blogger Otto Lamp December 09, 2016 7:23 PM  

Let's start the bad reviews now.

Just like SJW-Ghostbusters, we can make a point by downvoting and SJW-Spiderman trailers.

And I agree, making the redhead a brunette is a step too SJW far.

Blogger lowell houser December 09, 2016 7:40 PM  

Unbunch your panties gents. Hate to break it to you, but this actually isn't unrealistic for a teenager in Queens these days. As long as neither of the girls are MJ or GS this is still Peter in high school. MARVEL won't be making either Gwen or MJ anything other than a blond and redhead respectively because they are just to iconic and Disney is not about to risk box office dollars.

Anonymous A.B. Prosper December 09, 2016 7:41 PM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:GFR wrote:How about a superhero who can switch their appearance at will so that they can be male/female, black/White/Asian/hispanic as the circumstances dictate.

Captain Genderfluidity and xir sidekick, Transracial Youth


The Social Justice Warriors?

You'd need Captain Diversity, Check Your Privilege and the animal identifying sidekick Triggered to fill that group out.

Anonymous BGKB December 09, 2016 7:57 PM  

Defeat ReTT Khan's "Groids took us to the moon" narrative

http://www.amren.com/news/2016/12/hyped-figures-john-glenn-pc-myth-katherine-johnson-unsung-black-women-not-got-us-moon/

White Americans should return photos of White Americans

One of the early ones on startpage is a meme saying NO MORE NIGGERS

Ok, now try "white couple". I posted that for "white man and white woman" & "white couple" months ago when it was worse.

OT:Wetback calls for doubling down http://www.amren.com/news/2016/12/rep-gutierrez-trump-softening-dreamers-shows-pressure-working/

Anonymous BGJB December 09, 2016 7:58 PM  

Defeat ReTT Khan's "Groids took us to the moon" narrative

http://www.amren.com/news/2016/12/hyped-figures-john-glenn-pc-myth-katherine-johnson-unsung-black-women-not-got-us-moon/

White Americans should return photos of White Americans

One of the early ones on startpage is a meme saying NO MORE NIGGERS

Ok, now try "white couple". I posted that for "white man and white woman" & "white couple" months ago when it was worse.

OT:Wetback calls for doubling down http://www.amren.com/news/2016/12/rep-gutierrez-trump-softening-dreamers-shows-pressure-working/

Blogger Cail Corishev December 09, 2016 8:13 PM  

Why do I need a ultra-mega-super gay dude on every superhero team now?

Because you and millions of others enjoy these iconic characters and stories. You may even have taken inspiration from them when you were growing up, and become a better person by trying to live up to heroic standards. They want to ruin that and put a stop to it for future generations. That's all.

Anonymous Alice De Goon December 09, 2016 8:24 PM  

Opening Panel: A Secret Lair in the middle of a volcano.

Opening Narration: November 8, 2016. The election of Der TrumpenFuhrer has been a major setback for the Holy Globalist Cause......But the Eye of Soros has not been dimmed....

Panels cuts to giant column of glowing liquid surrounded by a control panel. A blurry face with massive eyebags appears in the center of the column.

SOROS: Gamma!

(A robot with the head of Ben Shapiro appears.)

SOROS: Gamma, recruit me a team of perpetual teenagers with whiny attitudes!

GAMMA: OYOYOYOYOY! Right away, sir!

Some time later...

GAMMA: Here they are, Your Eminence! (Points to a group of Mystery Meat-er-MEN standing in the shadows behind him. Gamma directs Soros' attention to a Mexican Woman with drawn on eyebrows.)


GAMMA: This is THE SHARPIE! A Wise Latina able to use her Magical Voting Pen to alter the future! And this is her sidekick, ANCHOR BABY! Able to change the demographics of an entire nation just by EXISTING!

ANCHOR BABY: Deport this, bigots! (Flips the bird with both hands.)

(Gamma points to a well-appointed black man in a tweed coat and a sweater.)

GAMMA: And this is MAGICAL NEG--Er...AFRICAN-AMERICAN! With his mystical powers, he can convince any white person he runs into that he is a typical representative of his race!

MAGICAL AFRICAN-AMERICAN: I have a PhD in Heart Surgery, Chemical Engineering and Astrophysics. I also love listening to classical music and would never think of interrupting a movie with loud, boorish commentary.

*Panel cuts to a white conservative couple standing nearby*

WHITE WIFE: Ooh! Henry! Look at that black man! He's so clean-cut and well-spoken! Let's invite him to move into our neighborhood!

HENRY: Let's invite all of his friends and family, too!

GAMMA: And here's Magical African American's sidekick and girlfriend: the MIGHTY MUDSHARK! (Points to a white woman in dreadlocks wearing a shark costume.)

MUDSHARK! Curse these oppressive white genes of mine! I look forward to the day when I can scrub them from my bloodline and give birth to beautifully Inclusive Mocha Children! Just like our beloved President Obama!

SOROS: Uh...are those black eyes, or did she screw up putting on her makeup?

GAMMA: Er...uh...OYOYOYOYOY!

MUDSHARK: I was...uh...walking down some stairs when I fell...AHDON'THIT ME!!!! (Cringes.)

MAGICAL AFRICAN AMERICAN: I wasn't gunna do nuthin.... (Steps away from Mudshark, opens his clenched right hand and puts it behind his back.)

GAMMA: OYOYOYOYOY!








Anonymous Alice De Goon December 09, 2016 8:30 PM  

Opening Panel: A Secret Lair in the middle of a volcano.

Opening Narration: November 8, 2016. The election of Der TrumpenFuher has been a major setback for the Holy Globalist Cause......But the Eye of Soros has not been dimmed....

Panel cuts to giant column of glowing liquid surrounded by a control panel. A blurry face with massive eyebags appears in the center of the column.

SOROS: Gamma!

A robot with the head of Ben Shapiro appears.

SOROS: Gamma, recruit me a team of perpetual teenagers with whiny attitudes!

GAMMA: OYOYOYOYOY! Right away, sir!

Some time later...

GAMMA: Here they are, Your Eminence! (Points to a group of Mystery Meat-er-MEN standing in the shadows behind him. Gamma directs Soros' attention to a Mexican Woman with drawn on eyebrows.)


GAMMA: This is THE SHARPIE! A Wise Latina able to use her Magical Voting Pen to alter the future! And this is her sidekick, ANCHOR BABY! Able to change the demographics of an entire nation just by EXISTING!

ANCHOR BABY: Deport this, bigots! (Flips the bird with both hands.)

(Gamma points to a well-appointed black man in a tweed coat and a sweater.)

GAMMA: And this is MAGICAL NEG--Er...AFRICAN-AMERICAN! With his mystical powers, he can convince any white person he runs into that he is a typical representative of his race!

MAGICAL AFRICAN-AMERICAN: I have a PhD in Heart Surgery, Chemical Engineering and Astrophysics. I also love listening to classical music and would never think of interrupting a movie with loud, boorish commentary.

*Panel cuts to a white conservative couple standing nearby*

WHITE WIFE: Ooh! Henry! Look at that black man! He's so clean-cut and well-spoken! Let's invite him to move into our neighborhood!

HENRY: Let's invite all of his friends and family, too!

GAMMA: And here's Magical African American's sidekick and girlfriend: the MIGHTY MUDSHARK! (Points to a white woman in dreadlocks wearing a shark costume.)

MUDSHARK: Curse these oppressive white genes of mine! I look forward to the day when I can scrub them from my bloodline and give birth to beautifully Inclusive Mocha Children! Just like our beloved President Obama!

SOROS: Uh...are those black eyes, or did she screw up putting on her makeup?

GAMMA: Er...uh...OYOYOYOYOY!

MUDSHARK: I was...uh...walking down some stairs when I fell...AHDON'THIT ME!!!! (Cringes)

MAGICAL AFRICAN AMERICAN: I wasn't gunna do nuthin.... (Steps away from Mudshark, opens his clenched right hand and puts it behind his back.)

GAMMA: OYOYOYOYOY GEVALT!

Blogger Alfred Genesson December 09, 2016 8:33 PM  

Vox, as a comic book geek, I ask you to pursue the creation of this comic. If you have no interest in the writing yourself, perhaps you could contact Mr. Chuck Dixon. He's been blacklisted by Marvel and DC, largely for his political views. He appeared on Milo's podcast promoting his graphic novel adaptation of Clinton Cash.

Anonymous Alice De Goon December 09, 2016 8:55 PM  

(Gamma wipes his robotic brow. Then points to a corpulent Asian male in ill-fitting tights.)

GAMMA: This is MODEL MINORITY! With his powers, he can convince every white person he meets that he is a victim, despite being educationally and financially better off than 98 percent of them!

MODEL MINORITY: (Holding college acceptance letters.) Awww! I was only able to get into Harvard, Stanford and Yale! I wanted to get into MIT! This isn't FAIR!

(Gamma points to a large, amoeba-like creature with a fat bearded head.)

GAMMA: This over here is the CINEMABLOB, a basement-dwelling Youtube warrior who uses his Critical-Theory based movie reviews and pop-culture commentary to sell our agenda to impressionable Liberal Arts majors the world over!

CINEMABLOB: (Talking in a heavy Bah-stahn accent:) Bigotry and totalitarianism are evil--unless it's OUR side that's doing it! There are no bad tactics, only bad tah-gets!

(Gamma points to a dark-skinned man in a turban.)

GAMMA: This is H-"ONE PUNCH" B MAN! The Hindi Hero who is able to destroy thousands of American jobs with a single blow!

H - "ONE PUNCH" B MAN: It is not my fault you American workers are losing your positions to wage slaves who work 16-hour days in Third World countries with no Worker Safety or Environmental Regulations! Now either become more competitive or please to be dying off!

(Gamma points to a long haired...person of indeterminate gender.)

GAMMA: This is THE TRAP! Is it a man, or is it a woman? You won't find out...until it's TOO LATE!

THE TRAP: Love is love, bigots! It shouldn't matter what shape a person's genitals are!

(Soros sighs and shakes his giant eye-baggy head.)

Blogger papabear December 09, 2016 9:52 PM  

I hope there is a discussion of Rogue One when it opens next week -- here's to Disney failing. (Even though the movie will probably do at least ok financially, if not better.)

Blogger Cassandros the Elder December 09, 2016 10:06 PM  

@141 A Secret Lair in the middle of a volcano.

The Fortress of Solicitude?

Anonymous Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus December 09, 2016 11:59 PM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus wrote:Ok, now try "white couple".

28 of the first 36 results are white couples, 6 with non-White babies. The rest are inter-racial couples.

Consider for a moment that if people are treating White as default, they wouldn't mention race at all unless they were talking about an inter-racial couple. Where on the internet are you going to see an article that specifically mentions the race of the people in the photo? An article from an explicitly racist perspective, usually a Black, an SJW or a alt-White website.

This isn't rocket science.


I'm showing somewhat, not completely, different results. But why would non-whites show up at all in such a search? (You answered that in part.)

You've brought up a couple interesting points. "Explicitly racist" in general means anti-White, according to the search engine algos, since the number of alt-White sites is a small fraction of SJW sites. That's interesting, albeit old news. It's the inversion summed up as "SJWs Always Lie".

Snidely Whiplash wrote:My guess would be that the shock [stock? -ed] photo houses tag Blacks with "African American", but don't otherwise tag for nationality of Whites. So any search for "American" will bring up photos of Blacks and Arabs.

What's really interesting is that the search brings up more pix of dogs than White Americans.


Yes, that's all very interesting. Why dogs indeed? I think we're looking at a fundamental failure in the mechanics of censorship in general and of information searches in particular. Something deeper than network theory, Shannon noise floor, etc. Like a balloon that squeezes out in a different direction when it is squeezed from another.

The internet doesn't just route around censorship, it transmutes it.

Blogger bkm ( wut is the great flaw in the Alt-R? too many chiefs, insufficient Injuns. good thing Vox Day is the Little Injun That Could pull that fine train. { Vox Gayness intensifies } ) December 10, 2016 12:12 AM  

22. BGKB December 09, 2016 10:03 AM
What about a gay man with the power to burn Korans & leave desert didndus hanging from lampposts by feather boas?




it's well established in 'Quantum and Woody' that the term "supervillain" is coded speech for homosexual.

so it's canon that all the antagonists behave that way.

Anonymous Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus December 10, 2016 12:12 AM  

retry-

Snidely Whiplash wrote:
Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus wrote:
Ok, now try "white couple".


28 of the first 36 results are white couples, 6 with non-White babies. The rest are inter-racial couples.

Consider for a moment that if people are treating White as default, they wouldn't mention race at all unless they were talking about an inter-racial couple. Where on the internet are you going to see an article that specifically mentions the race of the people in the photo? An article from an explicitly racist perspective, usually a Black, an SJW or a alt-White website.

This isn't rocket science.


I'm showing somewhat, not completely, different results. But why would non-whites show up at all in such a search? (You answered that in part.)

You've brought up a couple interesting points. "Explicitly racist" in general means anti-White, according to the search engine algos, since the number of alt-White sites is a small fraction of SJW sites. That's interesting, albeit old news. It's the inversion summed up as "SJWs Always Lie".

Snidely Whiplash wrote:
My guess would be that the shock [stock? -ed] photo houses tag Blacks with "African American", but don't otherwise tag for nationality of Whites. So any search for "American" will bring up photos of Blacks and Arabs.

What's really interesting is that the search brings up more pix of dogs than White Americans.


Yes, that's all very interesting. Why dogs indeed? I think we're looking at a fundamental failure in the mechanics of censorship in general and of information searches in particular. Something deeper than network theory, Shannon noise floor, etc. Like a balloon that squeezes out in a different direction when it is squeezed from another.

The internet doesn't just route around censorship, it transmutes it.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 10, 2016 12:34 AM  

Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus wrote:I think we're looking at a fundamental failure in the mechanics of censorship in general and of information searches in particular. Something deeper than network theory, Shannon noise floor, etc. Like a balloon that squeezes out in a different direction when it is squeezed from another.

My guess, and it is just a guess, is that the hangup comes from whoever tags the pictures for the stock photo sites. Recent college grads likely, in a converged industry. They have been trained their whole lives to treat White and American as curse words. It would just feel funny tagging pictures of White Americans as White Americans. Particularly if they are not nasty angry rednecks and raaaaaaciss crackers.
They are deliberately not seeing Whiteness.
They are deliberately not associating happiness with White Americans.
This is the indoctrination they have received, and I'm sure it's reinforced in the publishing industry where they work.

Anonymous Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus December 10, 2016 12:46 AM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:My guess, and it is just a guess, is that the hangup comes from whoever tags the pictures for the stock photo sites. Recent college grads likely, in a converged industry. They have been trained their whole lives to treat White and American as curse words. It would just feel funny tagging pictures of White Americans as White Americans. Particularly if they are not nasty angry rednecks and raaaaaaciss crackers.

They are deliberately not seeing Whiteness.

They are deliberately not associating happiness with White Americans.

This is the indoctrination they have received, and I'm sure it's reinforced in the publishing industry where they work.


No counter-argument here. (Side note- I saw "trained their whole lies" on first read.) The "transmute" idea is a process, with "the internet" as a mirror of the hive mind. White = evil goes in one end, mixes with happy white, dogs come out the other. It's a cogdis metric, possibly quantifiable.

Blogger Snidely Whiplash December 10, 2016 1:00 AM  

Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus wrote:White = evil goes in one end, mixes with happy white, dogs come out the other. It's a cogdis metric, possibly quantifiable.
I hadn't thought of it that way, but you're probably, sadly, right.

Anonymous Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus December 10, 2016 2:05 AM  

Snidely Whiplash wrote:Galactic Starfleets of Deplorable Spartacus wrote:White = evil goes in one end, mixes with happy white, dogs come out the other. It's a cogdis metric, possibly quantifiable.

I hadn't thought of it that way, but you're probably, sadly, right.


Yes. Now put that aside. We are in total war. Our enemy set the terms: either victory or annihilation, nothing else matters. The purpose of this little exercise is not to one-up the next anonymous commenter; it is to seek out the enemy's weak points.

Don't you think that white people can be allowed to be happy?

Anonymous Be Deplorable, Not Afraid December 10, 2016 8:44 AM  

@77 The obvious answer is to make all the White Villains the historical heroes of Christendom. They could have a Crusader (with the awesome catch phrase "DEUS VULT!"), an Inquisitor, a Soldier from Rorke's Drift, Charles Martel, Vlad Impaler...

I'm getting rather fond of old Vlad these days. Kate (The Impaler) Paulk did a couple of good stories about him. I wonder if there's any sympathetic fiction about the real Vlad as a warrior of Christendom? Maybe Kate or somebody else could do that, Vlad Tepes without vampirism. It would be raciss revenge pr0n, of course.

As far as Spidey goes, I think I'll pass. Probably can't avoid taking the kids to "Rouge" One, though.

Blogger Anthony Fox December 10, 2016 6:37 PM  

I haven't gone through every comment to see if anyone else has said it yet, but please write that comic!

Anonymous Avalanche December 26, 2016 10:18 PM  

@19 "What about a gay man with the power to burn Korans & leave desert dindus hanging from lampposts by feather boas?"

Now, THIS comic line I'd buy!!

Anonymous Avalanche December 26, 2016 10:27 PM  

@86 "For those long cold lonely New York nights of course."

Cause they burn well?

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